Please, help me to Business Communication homework to revise some…

Please, help me to Business Communication  homework to revise some…

Please, help me to Business Communication  homework to revise some…

Please, help me to Business Communication  homework to revise some sentences !!!

  1. Revise the sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “YOU” VIEW.

A. We have prepared the enclosed form that may be used by victims to report identity theft to creditors.

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B. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to our website and fill out the customer information required.

2. Revise the following to make the tone conversational yet professional.

A. Pertaining to your request, the above-referenced items (printer toner and supplies) are being sent to your Oakdale office, as per your telephone conversation of April 1.

B. Kindly inform the undersigned whether or not your representative will be making a visitation in the near future.

3. Positive and Courteous Expression. Revise the following statements to make them more positive.

A. Plans for the new community center cannot go forward without full community support.

B. We must withhold authorizing payment of your contractor’s fee because our superintendent claims your work was incomplete.

4. Bias-Free Language. Revise the sentences to reduce gender, racial, ethnic, age and disability bias. 

A. Every employee must wear his photo identification on the job.

B. The conference will offer special excursions for the wives of executives.

5. Precise, Vigorous words. From the choices in parentheses, select the most precise, vigorous words.

A. Management is predicting a (change, differences, drop) in earnings after the first of the year.

B. Experts (predict, hypothesize, state) that the economy will (change, moderate, stabilize) by next year.

6. Sentence Faults. Identify the sentence fault (Fragment. run-on, comma splice). Then revise to remedy the fault.

A. Although they began as a side business for Disney. Destination weddings now represent a major income source.

B. About 2,000 weddings are held yearly. which is twice the number just ten years age.

7. Active Voice. Revise sentences so that verbs are in the active voice. put the emphasis on the doer of the action. Add subjects if necessary.

A. To protect students, law were passed in many states that prohibited the use of social security numbers as        identification.

B. Software was installed to track how much time employees spend surfing the Web.

8. Passive Voice. When indirectness or tact is required, use passive voice verbs. Revise the sentences that they are in the passive voice.

A. Accounting seems to have made a serious error in this report.

B. We cannot ship your order for smart surge protectors until May 5.

9. Parallelism. Revise sentences so that their parts are balanced.

A. (Hint: Match verbs) To improve your listening skills, you should stop talking, your surroundings should be controlled, be listening for main points, and an open mind must be kept.

B. (Hint: Match active voice of verbs) Paula Day, director of the Okefenokee branch, will now supervise all Easter Division operations; the Western Division will be supervised by our Oroville branch director, Reggie Kostiz.

10. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers. Revise sentences to avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.

A. When collecting information before purchasing a tablet, the Web proved to be my best resource.

B. To win the lottery, a ticket must be purchased.

11. Long Lead-Ins. Revise the following to eliminate long lead-ins.

A. This is an announcement to tell you that all computer passwords must be changed every six months for security purposes.

B. We are sending this memo to notify everyone that anyone who wants to apply for telecommuting may submit an application immediately.

12. There is/are and it is/ was Fillers. Revise the following to avoid unnecessary there is/are and it is/was fillers.

A. There is a password-checker that is now available that can automatically evaluate the strength of your password.

B. It is careless or uninformed individuals who are the most vulnerable to computer hackers.

13. Redundancies. Revise to avoid redundancies.

A. Because his laptop was small in size, he could carry it everywhere.

B. A basic fundamental of computer safety is to avoid storing your password on a file in your computer because criminals will look there first.

14. Flabby Expressions. Revise following sentences to eliminate flabby expressions.

A. We are sending a revised proposal at this point in time due to the fact that building costs have jumped at a considerable rate.

B. In the normal course of events, we would seek additional funding; however, in view of the fact rates have increased, we cannot.

15. Buried Verbs. Revise to recover buried verbs.

A. After making an investigation, the fire department reached the conclusion that blaze was set intentionally,

B. Our committee made a promise to give consideration to your proposal at its next meeting.

Please!!! the professor will give me zero point,  I need your help!